Today’s post is a personal one. If you’ve been following Poised Avenue for a while now, you know I’ve recently had some major life changes. I polled my Instagram audience and it was almost unanimous… you want to hear about this change first hand! So, here I am. If you enjoy these types of posts, let me know! I think it may be very therapeutic for me to have a virtual diary for this kind of stuff. Of course, I can’t share all of the details here… but sharing my end of the story, my thoughts, feelings, hardships, and celebrations, is just as good. Right? So, with that said and out of the way, read about my first few weeks as a girlfriend of a police officer and, like always, don’t forget to shop this li’l #ootd incorporating lots of girly polka dots & edgy textures 🙂 .
*Shaun got me these loafers for Christmas (I found them at Nordstrom Rack in San Diego). Aren’t they amazing?!
Just about 14 days have passed, we can officially mark off the first two weeks of Shaun patrolling as a police officer and wow! it was a crazy week. It wasn’t necessarily crazy in a bad way, just a different way. By this week, the third week, it’s beginning to feel a bit more real but it definitely didn’t start out that way. Let me recap…
Shaun and I woke up and spent the day as we normally do however, we were accompanied by a tinge of anticipation. We knew that night would be the first of many we would part ways in a way we never have before. If that sounds dramatic, it’s because it was. It felt like a huge, final step towards a goal we had foreseen for years. It was exciting but also left me with knots in the pit of my stomach.
When the time came around for Shaun to leave, we walked down to his car together, said our “I love you”s, and I watched him drive off. I went back up to the apartment and cried for not even five minutes before he texted me, “I love you! I will be home before you know it.” and everything seemed a whole lot better. Still, it was weird to know he would be gone for 12+ hours (and be getting home around the time I would be waking up the next morning… what?!) while I was off to do my own thing.
It can definitely be lonely when he’s gone at work. But, I can’t be more proud of him! The pride really helps me stay strong as we navigate these new waters. I’ve learned to stay busy while he’s gone and remember to trust in him and what he knows best. He keeps his location on, which helps a lot. Seeing him move around the city eases my mind a bit. And, having other LEO wives/ girlfriends to talk to or even just listen to (this is where FB groups come in to play) helps as well. It’s definitely a unique experience that is hard to understand until you live it!
I have had a few questions asked, so I figured this post would be the perfect place to answer them all! If you’re curious…
Q: When/how did you first learn your significant other was interested in law enforcement?
A: We have been dating for about 7 or 8 years (we honestly don’t know the exact date and I can never remember the year because we started dating right around new years lol). And honestly, ever since I can remember he has been interested in law enforcement. We would literally listen to the scanner and follow calls and spend hours watching Cops. He always told me that one day he would be an officer and I never doubted that he would be. I think having that background together made the transition into patrol a lot smoother. I always felt as if I were dating a “cop”. It might sound silly, but it’s true. He lived the lifestyle long before the academy.
Q: Have you struggled with the transition to this life?
A: I mentioned above as to why I think I had a smoother transition than some. But, regardless, the transition was not easy by any means. It’s a lot to take on and definitely tests a relationship. I think we have been better because of it, though. It’s also taught me a lot about myself. For the past year or so (ever since he began applying) I struggled with inner arguments over not being a strong enough woman for this. It truly is a team effort and I was scared that because it wasn’t necessarily my dream, it would become overwhelming and too much to handle. I was so scared it would tear us apart. Luckily, it has been the exact opposite. If you love someone, it’s easy to be selfless and supportive.
Q: What surprised you, or did you not expect, about the academy?
A: I didn’t expect to instantly feel a part of the police family nor meet as many amazing people as we did. I really appreciated how much effort the academy put into including the loved ones through orientations and classes.
Q: What are your top five academy survival tips?
A: (1) Always make time to spend with your LEO, even if it’s just studying. (2) Make friends with the other LEO spouses. (3) Spend time with your new friends but also spend time doing non-academy related things together. (4) Even if you don’t understand any of the police related work, help out where you can! I learned to military press his uniforms as well as where to place each pin, etc. on his uniform… I packed it up every night for him to grab on his way out the door the next morning. (5) Leave petty arguments at the door. Don’t knit-pick or be dramatic. It may be hard to do in some cases, but it’s best not to be another burden. Save that for another time! 😉 But really… overall, enjoy the experience! The academy, in my case, was a lot less stressful than the first phase of patrol.
Q: How do you cope with the worry/anxiety/etc of the first few shifts on patrol?
A: It was pretty hard to go through the first few shifts. But, I knew he had lots of ride alongs in his past, lots of police/ street knowledge, lots of training in the academy, and most importantly, a lot of determination. He also has a field training officer (FTO) for the first 6 months of patrol and it made me feel a lot better knowing he had a partner. Like I mentioned before, I am able to spot his location on my phone and I love the ability to see where he’s at. I looked forward to hearing his stories when he returned home, and thats what I kept my mind focused on. Keeping busy working on Poised Avenue, hanging out with my family, shopping, or watching TV also helps keep anxiety and worry at bay. He checks in on his lunch or whenever he can, and calls me as soon as he’s off. I really try to focus on the small things like this and just stay positive!
P.S. If you’re looking for some blogs that cater specifically to police spouses check out the one’s I’ve linked below!
- Proud Police Wife – Shares every type of support there is for LEO spouses! I’m in her Facebook group, too 🙂
- The Police Wife Life Blog – written by Melissa Little (author of the well known book Bullets in the Washing Machine), this website offers resources and advice, as well as more personal posts.
- How to Love Your Cop – a blog written by author Victoria Newman that offers marriage and relationship advice for spouses of police officers.
Honestly, I couldn’t find many blogs out there that discuss the life of a LEO wife/ girlfriend but if you know of any, let me know of them in the comments below! And, if you write one yourself, let’s connect… I’d love to chat & add your link to the list!
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